White Dress
by hpfanfreak06
Summary: "I dream about the lights sometimes. Calling me home. If you really know me Finn, than you know my dreams. It's where I'm meant to be, I've just been denying it." AU
1. Part I

**Author's Note: It's been a while, but I'm back with a new story! This is sort of inspired by Parachute's "White Dress". (I recommend listening to it before reading. ) I've planned on three parts, the second will be much more darker than the first. Hope you enjoy! Reviews are awesome!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or "White Dress" by Parachute. **

She wears a white dress. It's classy, in that last image of a 40s film star kind of way. Just before the screen goes dark.

He wants to tell her how no one will ever look more beautiful than her in this moment, as she lingers in the doorway, her bouquet of yellow tulips dangling from her left hand.

"Finn, you know I can't stay here. Coming back to Lima was a terrible mistake. I thought this was better for me, that Noah was the change I needed. Like he made me better than I was. But, instead I feel suffocated, ready to live the life of some perfect Hallmark card."

"Rach, that doesn't mean you have to leave, I know you, and this is not you."

"I dream about the lights sometimes. Calling me home. If you really know me Finn, than you know my dreams. It's where I'm meant to be, I've just been denying it."

Of course he knows he's always known. She's the brightest person he knows and in Lima, Ohio, it's hard to shine. He just doesn't want her to leave.

"Do you want me to tell them?"

He's joined her in the doorway, hand gently on her wrist, the flowers dangling between them. There's light pouring in from the stained glass windows in her dressing room, he imagines a different scenario. A click comes from nearby.

"Hey guys, everyone's waiting in the sanctuary , it's been like twenty minutes."

"You should probably go break the news Finn."

He kisses her forehead. Lips lingering to capture the memory.

"I'll be right back, ok?"

"Thank you Finn, you're a good friend."

Following Artie down the hall he chances one more glance.

She's still there, in the doorway, the flowers still dangling in her hand.

There's a hunch, that's telling him she might not be there when he gets back.

Telling everyone had caused less of a ruckus than he had planned for.

Her father's hadn't put much toward it, Rachel insisting she pay for it all. The relief on their faces showed it all, he wondered if they might have known all along.

Noah Puckerman left silently. Asking no questions. Finn held his breath, until the roaring of the truck faded away. He didn't know Noah very well, but any fool can recognize a broken heart.

Feels empty as he returns to her dressing room.

The flowers lay discarded in the doorway, white ribbon tied around the stems in a perfect bow.

He picked them up, laying them gently on the vanity to his right.

"I told-"

She'd left only her flowers, that white dress, and a letter on top of her veil. All that wishing and hoping he had done, left him alone, with the truth locked deep in his heart.

The flowers were put in a vase when he reached his apartment. He can't let them die, not when he's still hoping she'll come back. Even though he knows she won't. Rachel was always known for making a decision and then jumping right into it.

Noah Puckerman was a prime example. He'd come to the conclusion that Rachel probably never loved Noah, at least not in the way you love someone forever.

She'd come back one summer, after a four year stint at NYU, told him it was just for those few months. Noah came into the picture that summer, on a hot day in July. He watched as they seemingly became one thing, no longer two people with different paths. A year later Noah proposed at the top the Ferris Wheel, on the last night of the Lima Summer Carnival. He knew he had no right to be jealous, but the pain was there.

That night at the carnival had set off a reel of memories, always leaving him with a list of what if's.

She's been his best friend since high school, having been assigned as his math tutor. After their first session he found he liked her smile, how easy she was to talk too, and the fact that she didn't call him stupid for confusing "x" and "y".

They were each other's dates to their Senior prom, but he was too caught up in Quinn Fabray and her flat out "No" to notice how Rachel looked in her dress or how it felt to dance with her.

He's had his opportunities, even through college, when Brody broke her heart and he didn't hesitate to take the first plane straight to New York. He'd held her that night as she cried, and there had been an instance, where she pressed herself deeper into his chest, that he considered telling her. Put everything on the table and risk it all. But when it came down to it, he'd take being her friend of over losing her forever. He knows it's cliché but if it's Rachel or nothing, there's no choice.

When she'd shown up at his door that summer she came back, telling him that Noah had asked her out and _"Isn't that wonderful Finn?"_ He almost gave it all up then. But like every other scenario her infectious smile and giddy bouncing left him no choice but to hold back.

The night before the wedding he came closer than he'd ever intended. She'd wanted just him for the night, opting out of a Bachelorette Party because _"Stripper's are disgusting and I am much more high class than that." _

_They lay on the floor of his tree house, with the ceiling opened up to see the stars. On a perfect June night. He'd brought her favorite bottle of wine and every flavor of Oreo's he could find at Lima Grocery. _

"_Am I doing the right thing Finn?"_

_He was surprised as Rachel never questioned her decisions. Everything was always set in stone._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean, is marrying Noah the right thing for me?"_

_The question hit him square in the face, and his heart told him to say "No, it's a mistake."_

"_Do you love him?"_

"_Of course I love him, I'm planning on marrying him tomorrow."_

"_I know you are, but do you love him in the way you're supposed to?"_

"_I'm not sure what you mean?"_

"_Does every song on the radio unintentionally remind you of him? Can he make you laugh for no reason at all? Do you love him even more when you're not with him?"_

_He's hoping his eyes are conveying everything, that she somehow gets it._

"_Of-of course. Noah is perfect."_

"_Well, then that's all you need."_

_He doesn't believe his words, especially when she grabs his hand, squeezing tightly, eyes still cast at the stars above._

If he's being honest the moment he noticed she was gone, he had to throw away any idea of going after her.

Forcing a new revelation of feelings on her just didn't feel right. So he chose to wait, for as long as she needed, even if he had no clue how long.

He falls asleep that night in his suit, the flowers sitting in the vase, and a message on his phone he won't see until the morning, "I'm safe."

The first few months without Rachel he spends trying not to think about her. Because if he does, he gets this ache in his chest and a built up need to jump into his car and find her. So he distracts himself.

Working at his step-father's tire shop during the summer months, mowing lawns. It almost feels like high school again.

August comes, and he's busier.

His degree in education got him a job at the local elementary school, teaching 2nd graders, who call him "Mr. Hudson" and are still at that age when they say hi to him in public.

Evenings are devoted to helping Coach football at McKinely High School, where he would think about her in the few moments before practice started and as he drove home.

No more messages came. And he never tried to contact her.

Only sending her a brief message on her birthday. He remembered how much she loved having a December birthday. _"It's a whole month of lights, and music, and gifts! And the snow Finn, I do love the snow."_

She didn't come back for Christmas. And went it snowed, he missed her more than he wanted to.

Spring arrived, with rain and the promise of color.

He tried to date, took out a nice girl from the Lima Bean, named Amy. It lasted a month before she questioned him on his interest in her. (There was none, not really.)

When she didn't wish him a Happy Birthday, he almost considered forgetting about her entirely, she had left anyway. But he would see that picture of them on his nightstand, taken by Artie at Rachel's failed wedding, the two of them standing in the doorway, and he found he couldn't.

A year had passed, an entire year without her.

The last flower from her bouquet lay dried, the color now a lackluster yellow, on his desk.

Enough had become enough. And if he thought about he had two options: Erase Rachel from his life and move on, using this summer to regenerate.

Or, he could go to her. Find her.

He searched for her name on Google. Finding she was in a summer production of Cinderella. It listed the theater and show times. The last show was this Saturday. He had two days.

There was a flight in two hours.

Opening his desk drawer, he pulled out the letter he never read. He would read it on the plane.

His suitcase was backed in quickly, along with the picture from his nightstand.

As he headed out the door he sent his mother a quick message.

"Going to New York."

_Dear Finn,_

_I'm sorry I left without a Goodbye, but we both know you would have persuaded me to stay and one more pleading look from you and I would have said yes. So please don't be mad. My father's know I'm leaving and have set me up with an apartment in Brooklyn. My dreams are in New York, so how can I not chase them? While I know you'll understand, just please know that I'll miss you terribly. And tonight in the tree house really helped me with my decision. You were right, I love Noah, but certainly not enough to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm doing this for me, as selfish as that sounds. Remember that day at the lake? Please keep that promise. Until then, be happy. Come and find me when you know the time is right. _

_Love,_

_Rachel_

_"Finn, I'll be a star someday right?"_

_They're at the lake, Rachel's feet are hidden beneath the water, and there's still a bit of coolness in the summer breeze._

_"I've never doubted it."_

_"So you really believe I'll stand on a stage, with full houses and the music?_

_"Come on, there's nowhere else I'd picture you."_

_"And you'll be there? In the front row like always?"_

_Her eyes are hopeful in the sunshine, he knows he wants to be there. There's just that shred of doubt that wonders if she'll want him. Replace him with someone else. _

_"Save me a seat."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Promise."_

**AN/2: There you have it! Part one complete. I find it easier to play with Rachel's inner turmoil more so than Finn's, so this was not easy to get out, but it needs to be here. Look for Part II with Rachel soon (possibly tomorrow, no guarantees)!  
**


	2. Part 2

**Author's Note: Where to begin. It's hard to watch someone go through something has life damaging as substance abuse(Speaking from experience).Help is there, but sometimes that's not enough. Even the biggest support system in the world cannot save you. For Cory, he just couldn't quit. I believe a part of him desperately wanted to though. It's sad and it's heartbreaking, and above all tragic. But like everything, there's a lesson. Treat yourself well, be aware of the choices you make. You only get one life after all. Rest in Peace Cory. "Being a part of something special, makes you special right?" It does Finn Hudson it does. 3 **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. **

She wears a gold star.*The only reminder she has left of her dreams. Finn had given it to her as a graduation gift, before she left for college, the world before, colorful and exciting. The charm never leaves her neck, and sometimes she'll wake up, finding her hand grasping it, leaving an imprint in her palm.

She wonders about Noah. It's not true that she never loved him, or doesn't anymore. He was always so sweet to her and she really couldn't say no to him. A problem that almost led her into a lifelong commitment. When he'd asked her out, she'd hoped Finn might say something. Because how could he miss the way she looks at him? Of course he was nothing but happy for her, which led to string of yes's. That's why she ran away. Her adamant excuse to Finn (and sadly her father's) was she was chasing her dreams. But really, she was pulling herself out of the deep waters she had sunk herself into.

Blaming Finn made everything easier, for a while. He was supposed to ask her why she came back to Lima that Summer and never left. It was his duty as her best friend to question her motives. No one else in her life had ever done so, and she really thought Finn might be the one to change all of that. He did, towards the end, but not with enough force.

All of the mistakes she had made welled up into one cluster the night before her wedding. Finn had asked her about loving Noah, and she could see everything in his eyes. Which sent her running faster to the one place she always believed she could count on.

New York held all the answers, amongst the bright lights of Broadway.

Nothing happened like she believed it would.

When her plane landed on the water surrounded lanes of JFK, she felt free. And she could justify all the reasons she gave to Finn. Everything would be the perfect picture she had drawn in her mind. And it almost was, for a while.

Her apartment is nice, the first time she unlocked the door, she realized how generous her father's really are. Giant windows line the living room, opening up to the most perfect view of Brooklyn. She'd gone to sleep that first night, more hopeful than she'd been in a long time.

Believing she was much smarter than most Broadway bound peoples, she managed to get a job at a diner down the street, in her first week there. The tips were good and her manager loved when she sang for customers (and that she was willing to work Saturday nights).

A month into working at the diner she started searching for open auditions. The casting directors always told her the same thing, pretty voice, but not right the role. She refused to let any of them make her weak, she wasn't going to cry. It worked for the first fifteen.

On her sixteenth audition they didn't even let her sing. She was shooed away before she could introduce herself and when she asked why, they flat out told her she needed to change her appearance and to her utter disbelief, gave her the number to a plastic surgeon.

She darted out of the theater that day, hiding her sobs in her arm. Because she was otherwise distracted, she didn't see the person in front of her.

That was the day she met Jesse St. James.

He'd stopped her, asked her what was wrong. And in the middle of a busy sidewalk she told him everything.

He bought her a cup of tea to calm her down, before telling her he was an actor too. She finds out he's in an Off-Off Broadway production written by a recent NYU graduate, but they haven't fully gotten off the ground yet. There's no leading lady.

The smile on his face and the look in his eyes tells her that maybe her dreams are still real.

Jesse practically sells her to the director. She doesn't even have to sing.

Everything is fun at first. Table readings, song and dance rehearsals. She gets to wear this flashy red dress and curse like a sailor. It comes easy to her, playing someone she's not.

Right before opening night, Jesse takes her out to a dimly lightened restaurant, where they serve wine by the bottle. He laughs at the appropriate times and does everything perfectly.

She likes when he kisses her goodnight, his lips like fire against her own. He asks her out again and for a while she forgets about Finn.

The show is a hit. Quickly moving to Off-Broadway in a matter of months.

She realizes maybe she wasn't making excuses to Finn, or anyone. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew all this would happen, that success would come to her.

Her relationship with Brody progresses. He moves in with her in October.

Sharing a space with someone is not what she expected. Having only one bathroom makes mornings chaotic and Jesse has this thing about not letting her brush her teeth while he's in the shower.

He sleeps in her bed, but if he touched her a certain way, she would tell him she was too tired, maybe tomorrow. He's okay with it the first month and a half, but he starts to get restless.

At night she would wake up finding his hand under her shirt. That act of intimacy should feel right, she knew that, but instead she felt no comfort at all. Like his hand was never meant to be there.

It's when he starts waking her up and kissing her neck, his hand again under her shirt, that she starts to feel pressured.

When she tells him so, he offers no words of comfort, only tells her it shouldn't bother her, they're dating. She wants to argue with him, but something flashing behind his eyes tells her to keep quiet.

The show ends that December. A casting director wants her for a limited run of West Side Story. She's thrilled, because it's Maria and she gets to show the Broadway world what she's made of.

The actor playing Tony, quickly becomes one of her closest friends. His name is Blaine Anderson and she finds out he grew up in Lima too. It's nice having a friend.

Despite her insistence that Blaine has no romantic feelings towards her, Jesse see's him as competition. At first it makes her smile, because he wouldn't be jealous if he didn't care. But then it starts to get annoying when Blaine stops by to take her to lunch and Jesse is nothing but rude to him.

It gets worse when Jesse comes to opening night. He comes back stage, no flowers in hand. Red faced with fury. He didn't like the way Blaine kissed her or the way he looked at her. She tells him it's just acting, he should know that better than anyone. He leaves, muttering something about trust, slamming the door behind him.

After that night, he sleeps on the couch. She doesn't question it, because it makes her feel more relieved than she would admit.

Suddenly everything's okay for a while, Jesse still sleeps on the couch, but he no longer says anything about Blaine. She thinks it's over, and they'll go back to normal. He even brings her a bouquet of pink roses out of the blue after a Sunday matinee.

It was a Tuesday. The last night of her run.

She'd taken her bows, said her thanks to cast members and those who came to see the show. It was a dream playing Maria, but with the rave reviews she's positive she'll have parts lined up.

He comes into her dressing room without a knock, startling her out of her chair. With a menacing quality to his eyes and his fist clenched. Locking the door behind him.

She's asks if he's okay, because maybe that might calm him down. But he marches towards her, backing her into a far wall. The concrete cold against her back, through her dress.

Jesse starts ranting about how she never gives him anything, always pushes away his desire to be intimate.

She wants to tell him, she doesn't have to give him anything, and tell him to get out. But her mouth is dry, voice caught in her throat.

First his hands come to her wrists, pinning her. He growls in her ear, telling her just what he'll do to her. What he's been dying to do to her.

One hand on her wrist the other snaking down to the edge of her dress. She can feel herself trembling, unable to remove herself from his hands. Her eyes shut tight, his fingers edging their way past the band of her underwear.

Somewhere a past voice finds its way into her ears. Whispering and encouraging. Fight. It says.

She wants to, desperately. But the pressure on her wrist is relentless and he's pushing her underwear to her knees.

Her voice tells him to stop. Please stop.

Jesse only continues roughly touching her. And when she pleads again, the hand on her wrist is released and comes across her face. Her cheek burns.

Her dress is pulled up, snuggly above her chest. Jesse is so close, but she's so cold.

Giving in, surrendering. Letting him hurt her. The person she was wouldn't let this occur. She would fight.

The voice comes back. More aggressive than before.

Fight.

Like the blur of a car whizzing by, she lifts her knee, hitting his groin, fighting her way to the door.

She doesn't look back to see if Jesse is close behind her.

Running, running, running.

It's only when she makes it to her apartment, out of breath, cheeks with tears dried in the wind, that she realizes she doesn't have her keys.

Her land lord lets her in. The doors are locked. She feels only a little safer.

Mostly she feels dirty.

She scrubs at her arms, raw red.

Crawls under her sheets and tries not to cry.

Somehow she falls asleep.

It's late at night when there's a pounding at her door.

A voice that terrifies her.

He tells her he'll ruin her. Let every casting director he knows, not to hire her.

She prays it's only threats.

The pounding stops an hour later.

Silence.

She's afraid to leave her apartment, afraid he'll be there, waiting to finish what he started. Go farther than before.

Every night after that, she sleeps with her phone clutched in her hand, just in case.

The days continue and soon it's her birthday.

Her phone blinks.

"Happy Birthday Rach. –Finn"

Her heart feels warm.

She wants to text him back, tell him thank you.

It almost happens on Christmas, because she knows how much he loves it. But she's not sure he wants to hear from her.

When January comes, after the flurry of the holiday's she decides to audition again.

It turns out Jesse may have meant what he said. His power was far worse than she thought.

Casting directors and producers push her out the door. It feels like her first week auditioning, when no one would let her sing.

At night she dreams of Finn. Mostly his voice. She rarely sees his face. It comes from behind a door or in her ear. It's really the only comfort she has.

She continues to work at the diner, thankful that her father's are still helping out with the rent.

It's not until May, when spring has left, taking its cool breezes with it, that she finally gets a part.

She'll be playing Cinderella, at a small community theater in Brooklyn. It turns out this is the one director that can't stand Jesse St. James and he gives her the part. Even if it's out of spite, she doesn't care. She's relieved.

Everything is okay for a while. Until it's not.

Rehearsals went smoothly and her cast was welcoming. Jesse had all but disappeared from her life. She was happy.

But then press started for the show (as much press as a community production can get) and a small newspaper wanted to interview her.

It all makes her feel like a star.

She meets the reporter at a small coffee shop.

The questions start out ordinary, where are you from? How does it feel to play this role?

But his questions turned invasive. Are you dating anyone? Sources tell me you're a virgin?

Shocked she told him the interview was over, and left him at the table.

She thought nothing of it for a while, until she found it lying on her dressing room table.

The reporter was an old friend of Jesse's. Every answer she had given, had been twisted. Jesse was a saint and she was his greedy ex girlfriend. It was claimed that she stayed with Jesse clearly for her own ambitions, dragging him through the dirt.

Everyone except the director ignored her after that. Except for whispers overheard in hallways when they thought she wasn't there.

Words like: Slut, fat, and ugly were used. Immaturity she only thought existed within the walls of high schools.

Only Blaine takes her to lunch and tells her she shouldn't let them bother her. Finn used to do that. Stand up for her when no one else would.

"_Come on Rachel, don't let them tear you down. They're just a bunch of insensitive assholes who think they'll stay on top forever."_

"_But Finn, they called me ugly. How am I supposed to ignore that?"_

"_By understanding that no matter what anyone else thinks, I know you're beautiful. Never forget that okay?"_

He always made it seem so easy. To ignore the hate that spews from peoples lips.

She wishes he was here, to remind her.

When opening night arrives, she's not excited or nervous.

All she can feel is the fact that she exists. Living and breathing and moving.

No one is in the audience watching her, rooting for her. Except for Blaine.

On stage she plays her role perfectly, the excellent actress she is.

The applause makes her feel bright, if just for a moment. Cast mates lose their fake smiles and she scurries off to her dressing room, alone.

Most nights she doesn't sleep only eats when Blaine forces her.

She quit the diner. The show didn't allow for her to pick up shifts anyway. There's a part of her that she thinks might regret it.

Somewhere along the line she picked up smoking. She tries it for about a week before remembering her respect for her voice, but keeps a pack in her underwear drawer, just in case.

The last week of her show is when she completely falls apart.

Rarely eating and the lack of sleep causes her to faint at the end of Act 1 the first night.

Promising her director (and Blaine) she starts eating more and feels better. Well, physically.

There's a night when she's walking back to her apartment, when the night is cool and the stars are somewhere out there. Amongst the constant movement of New York she swears she can hear singing. Softly, like angels from Heaven. Giving her a message she can't quite understand.

She remembers this night, when her and Finn climbed up onto this water tower, on the outskirts of town.

"_I cannot believe you talked me into coming up here! If we get caught, so help me Finn Hudson I-"_

"_Relax Rachel, just look at this view."_

_The houses spread out, row by row. Windows lit up like clusters of fireflies. _

"_Wow, I never thought Lima could look so beautiful. It's like looking at Starry Night."_

"_Yeah, I like to come up here and think. I swear I hear everything in the silence when I'm up here."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Like all the sounds that come with nature. But more than before. I swear sometimes I can hear singing. Coming from somewhere I can't see."_

"_Maybe it's the Angels. My papa used to say that it was the angels that sent you off to sleep. Singing lullaby's in your ear."_

"_Could be, whatever it is though, the words always speak to me."_

"_Thank you for bringing me up here Finn."_

"_Well, you are one of my favorite people."_

It's the night of her last performance. She doesn't really want to be there, but it's her job and she reminds herself that this is what she's always wanted.

The curtain comes up and she feels him before she sees him.

A tug she missed, pulling her heart and making everything okay.

He's there, in the front row. Watching her like he's always done. Eyes wide with a smile like he's hearing her sing for the first time.

She's really not sure how she makes it through the show. Considers seeing him during intermission but knows, she couldn't go back on if she did. And it's her last night after all.

When the bows are done and she's back in her dressing room, the knock comes.

Gathering herself, breathing a bit shakily, she opens the door.

And there he is. Smiling at her like he always does. A bouquet of Daisy's in his hand.

"I read your letter."

That's all it takes for her to throw herself into his arms.

For the first time since her lonely and confused life took control she sobs.

Finn collapses with her to the floor, holding her to his chest.

Whispering.

"It's okay, I'm here. It's okay."

And for once, she believes him.

***The lyrics originally say, "She wears a gold cross." **

**A/N 2: Thank you for your reviews. Part 3 will be up tomorrow. **


	3. Part 3

**Author's Note: We've come to the end of this three part story. And I'm quite happy with it. I did find it hard to write in parts, because sadness is all most of us seem to feel these days. Here it is though. And with a happy ending, because the least we can do is give the characters the happy ending Cory and Lea will never get. Thank you for your reviews.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. **

He wants to love her more. Than all of things she's ever wanted. More than the stage, the music and the theaters of Broadway.

When he first see's her, on stage, she's breathtaking and more brilliant than the last time he saw her do this. She's at home in this world of music and applause.

She seems so happy, solid. And he believes that until she opens her dressing room door.

Hollow eyes stare back up at him. And suddenly she's falling into his arms, sobbing into his shirt.

He holds her as she cries, rubbing her back.

"It's okay, I'm here. It's okay."

Picking her up he carries her to the couch, setting her on his lap.

He kisses her hair, whispers comfort in her ear and all the things you do when the person you love is crying.

She calms down, slowly ceasing her crying, sniffling quietly. Her eyes glance up at him, hopeful and confused all that once.

"You're here."

"I'm here."

"But how? I mean you said something about reading my letter, is that why?"

"Partly, I've missed you from the moment you left at bouquet lying in the doorway. It just took finally reading that letter to come and find you."

"I'm so completely happy and relieved you're here."

"Me too. You were brilliant up there by the way, I swear you get better every time. How does it feel being a star?"

He's caught off guard by her answer.

"It's been so horrible Finn. I've been so alone, wishing I hadn't left Lima, or you."

"Well, I'm here now, so tell me everything."

"Okay, well, in the beginning it felt like what Id' planned on would work out. I had this job at a little diner not too far from my apartment. The manager even let me sing to customers, which certainly helped with tips. It was the auditions that didn't go the way I thought they would. They never even let me sing. They took one look at me and sent me out the door."

He doesn't understand how anyone could see her as anything but beautiful.

"After a dozen or so auditions I felt like I'd failed myself. It was as I was walking out of my last one, when I bumped into him. Jesse St. James. He took me to this café to calm me down, told me he had the same dreams I did. I thought it was fate. Especially when he told me there was a production he was involved in that was missing a lead."

Here's where it gets better right? It had too.

"That first show, my first break, really was everything I could have hoped for. I had my passion reignited and someone to share with. When I got my second part, Maria, it was, I met Blaine. He was my Tony, sweet, and kind, and he wanted to know me. That's when Jesse changed."

Oh, God. He's praying he's wrong.

"He started to get jealous, when Blaine would take me to lunch or send my messages on my phone. I told him he had nothing to worry about of course, Blaine is gay, nothing more than my friend. Jesse calmed down for a while, things seemed normal. But then I wouldn't let him touch me, and made excuses for it. I was tired, maybe tomorrow. I found him on the couch one night after a show, and every night after that."

He hopes this is where it ends, when everything is okay again and she's happy.

"It was the last week of shows. One night he comes into my dressing room, livid. Locks the door behind him and pins me against the wall by my wrists."

"Oh God, Rach, did he?-"

"No, but he got pretty far. There was a moment when I almost gave in, but then I heard this voice. Telling me to fight. The first time I tried, he hit me. His hand had left my wrists, settling in worse places, but I could hear the voice getting stronger. I listed harder. Somehow I got free and ran home. He came by my door that night, telling me he would ruin me."

How could someone threaten her? He should have been here.

"It turns out he wasn't lying, and every part I tried to get after that left me with a familiar pain of rejection. The only reason I was hired to play this role was because the director has a deep loathing for Jesse. But that didn't stop the article from happening. I was framed by a reporter friend of Jesse's. The article described me as nothing but a greedy ex-girlfriend. My cast members, who had once been so welcoming, turned on me. I was alone, and sad, so I gave up. Sleeping no longer came easy and I was never hungry. I just existed. When Blaine found out he forced me to eat again, he really is a good friend."

The way she lays her head back on his chest, lets him know she's done speaking. He wants to find Jesse, show him how worthless he is. But mostly he wants to cry. Someone hurt this perfect girl and he doesn't understand why.

So he holds her closer.

-Two weeks later-

He's getting really tired of her couch. The springs dig into his back and his feet dangle off the edge. But he's determined to be there for Rachel, which means he has to be a perfect gentleman.

Like everyday he's up before her. Thinking. Pondering.

They haven't discussed what her letter said, or what she meant when she said those things. The entire time they've known each other, they've been friends. Finn, standing off to the side, watching her move about the world, loving her silently.

It's hard to tell your best friend what he wants to tell Rachel. Because no matter how he tries he always ends up in that place of being terrified she'll kick him out and they'll never speak again.

He's tried before, each time more unsuccessful than the last.

And he'll drop hints. Telling her with wide eyes how amazing she looks when she steps out of her room, all dressed and primped. Reaching for her hand down sidewalks and settling his arm around her shoulders during a movie.

Nothings registered as far as he can tell. So tonight, he's got it all planned. Because it's starting to get frustrating.

"Good morning Finn. Up early again?"

She's at the kitchen counter, pouring a cup of coffee (a dash of milk and about a cup of sugar).

"Umm, yeah, the sun hits my eyes early. So I was thinking. Why don't we go out tonight? Instead of ordering in like we have been. As much as I love most anything that comes in a box, I think we need a change. So I'll pick you up at your room at 7?"

There's something in her eyes he doesn't recognize, it's not unsettling though.

"Sure Finn, that sounds lovely. I could use a change of pace."

He's promptly at her door when he said he would be.

She's bustling around probably looking for the right earrings.

"Come on Rachel, are you done yet? I'm literally starving."

"Someone's impatient. Just one more touch, and there, done."

When she comes out, he can't breathe. Her hair is done just the way he loves it, and her eyes are sparkling.

"Wow, you look. Wow."

She blushes under his gaze.

"Come on, let's go."

Everything comes out before they make it to the restaurant. And really he blames his big mouth and the fact that she looked the way she looked.

They're walking down her block, comfortable in the silence, the restaurant only minutes away.

He's growing impatient. He still has to make it through dinner, before he tells her everything. It's all a part of his plan. But something inside of him bursts and he has to say something, anything.

"Rachel can we stop for a second?"

"But we're almost there, can't whatever it is wait until we're sitting down ordering?"

"No actually it can't."

He takes her hand, leading her over to a nearby bench.

"Finn what's wrong?"

"You remember that night, before your wedding, when I asked you if you loved Noah?"

"Of course Finn, that night means everything to me. But why do you ask?"

"Do you remember what I said, about the loving him the way you're supposed to?"

"Yes, but, why don't we finish this conversation at the restaurant, it's getting a little chilly and I'm starving-"

Clutch tucked under her arm she starts down the side walk. He knows what she's doing.

"Rachel wait…please stop. Seriously you're just going to keep walking? You know we have to talk about this!"

"Not now Finn, and for the record I don't know what THIS is!"

"You know you do and you're just afraid to talk about it."

"Come on Finn, really I have no idea what you're talking about."

Enough is enough.

"God dammit Rachel! I'm in love with you!"

She stops, her back to him.

"And do you know how I know that? Because the first time I met you I knew you were someone worth holding onto. You just don't get that feeling with anyone. And the more I got to know you, the more I wanted to know about you. Like how you hate when songs are longer than they should be, you love Necco's but always pull out all the black licorice ones because you hate them. How you know you're a star, and you always prove it. And all those things I said you should feel for Noah? I feel them for you. For years I've never said anything because, you're my best friend and losing you would destroy me. But after your letter, I knew I had to tell you. Because I want everything with you Rachel Berry. And even if you don't feel the same way, at least I'll know I tried."

It's a rush of words but he feels freer. That annoying weight on his shoulders is gone and instead replaced with hope.

He waits for her to turn around. She keeps walking.

Returning to her apartment alone, physically hurts. He'd hoped she would say she's loved him all along, but her continued footsteps say everything.

He can't be here anymore. So, he starts to gather his things. Considers picking somewhere, anywhere in the world to escape to.

"What are you doing?"

And there she is. Her cheeks are red and her eyes are puffy, she's been crying. But he's not giving in, not yet.

"I'm packing. I've decided to head back to Lima."

"So you're just going to run away!?"

"Yep, just like you did."

"I cannot believe, you of all people would throw that back at me."

"Well, it's true isn't it? You left me to deal with the guests, you left me to pick up the pieces, you left ME!"

"I told you I was sorry, I thought you understood?"

"Do just don't get it? You leaving completely tore me up, I even tried to date! I couldn't even do that because for some reason you're the only thing I think about."

"You don't think it was hard for me? I told you what happened, how broken I was."

" I get that Rachel, I do, and I'll never forgive myself for it, but do you know how it feels to be completely in love with someone and have to keep it secret?"

"Finn, did it ever occur to you that I just might understand."

"What do you mean?"

"Did you know that I started tutoring you because I liked you? And then you started dating Quinn and it hurt, because that was supposed to be me. Also, just so you know, I only dated Noah to make you jealous. Which you never picked up on and because of my idiocy I almost ended up marrying him."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Probably for the same reasons you didn't tell me, because our friendship was too important."

"Is it too important now?"

"I'm not sure, because this could change everything. If we do this, we can't go back. Are you willing to take that risk?"

On some impulse he starts walking towards her.

"Rachel we've both wanted this since high school, there's no risk involved. It's just you and me and everything we've felt since we were sixteen. Shouldn't that be enough?"

His hand rests on her cheek, eyes pleading.

There's a knock at the door.

Rachel moves to answer it, a delivery man is there with a small package.

"I don't remember ordering anything."

She opens the box, carefully unwrapping the object wrapped in tissue and bubble wrap. He hears her gasp. It's a picture frame.

"What is it?"

He takes the frame in his hands. It's of them. Standing the doorway of her dressing room at her almost wedding. There's this perfect glow behind them, emerging from the stained glass windows. His hand is on her wrist, her flowers dangling between them. They're staring up at each other, locked in a gaze all their own. It's in black and white, somehow making it even more beautiful.

"Artie must have taken this."

"But why is he sending it now?"

"Mom must have told him I was coming to find you. I guess he thought this would encourage me."

He stares at the photo again, it's breathtaking really.

"It's a bit heartbreaking isn't it? Two people so completely in love but believing there's nothing they can do about it."

She's right.

"But we can change that, can't we? Make the two people in this photo happy?"

"Give them the happy ending they deserve."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

And then he's kissing her and everything makes sense.

He see's forever.

And in forever, she wears a white dress.

**A/N 2: Thank you reading. I'm considering writing a piece in the new future, regarding what I think the writers of the show should do with these two characters. Let me know what you think. =)**


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